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Love isn't complicated


There's a really popular statement, that love is complicated. It is stated or implied over and over again, in books, magazines and every other form of media. It's become a "truth" of life for most of the human population, but it's a complete load of crap.

Love is not complicated. It's not even close to being complicated. It is the antithesis of complicated. Let's see if I can explain it.

Love is perfect. It doesn't ask for anything in return. It doesn't need anything. It doesn't take anything from anyone or anything. It doesn't require proof. Love never runs out. You don't have to take love from one person to give it to another person. There is as much love as we choose to give, receive or make in the universe. It isn't restricted by time or place. It can be felt anywhere and anytime. There is no time limit for love. It doesn't expire. It can be received, but it doesn't have to be. There is a love for every occasion and relationship. You can feel love for anything, anyone, anytime or anyplace. Giving love doesn't diminish you. Giving love only increases your love as it also increases the love of the person, place, time or thing receiving your love. Love never makes you feel bad: it only lifts you up.

I think that's a good start. Now to actually explain my points and give these "platitudes" some teeth.

We get tricked into thinking love is complicated and hard, because we look at love through our human nature. Human existence has been turned into a tough experience, because we lost grasp of the truth about love. I'm actually reminded of the Christian story of Adam and Eve. It's not a unique story really. Versions of it appear in so many religious tales of early human existence. But I bring it up, because it is probably the most recognizable and, in my opinion, the most misunderstood and badly interpreted tale of its kind. It's not that humans learned something they didn't know before, it was that they couldn't even conceive of the knowledge before "Eve ate the apple." They learned that "evil" existed. That it was possible to do wrong and to think of oneself as being separate from others. The knowledge humans gained that banished them from paradise wasn't that they could think for themselves. They could do that beforehand or mankind wouldn't have chosen to "eat that apple" in the first place.

Before that moment, humans only knew love and connection to everything around them. They only understood that they existed and lived amongst all creation and were part of that creation. What they didn't know were feelings of shame, envy, anger, deprivation, and just about every other negative emotion and motivating factor known to humans. What we call human nature was born at that point. What was lost was paradise. I don't believe paradise is a place. It is a state of being. It is a feeling of love and connection to all things. When we gained the knowledge that we might call "looking out for oneself," we lost the love and connection we felt for everything in existence and gained the tendency to separate things into us and them, ours and theirs. It's not that we lost the ability to feel that over-arching love and connection. It's that we became sure that it was a fairy-tale and couldn't possibly be true; that it was better for our continued existence and safety to isolate and shelter oneself and one's group from those "others" over there.

Now you might be asking what does this matter in relation to the here and now and the realities of life in the present. Why am I speaking of a religious story that many people find to be a bit silly, some people think it is a creation to subjugate and vilify women, and many others think is the way the world began and mankind fell from grace and became sinners? Because it is an important story that has been told for eons to describe the beginning of humankind, and I believe it illustrates a very real aspect of humanity. Is it a true story? It doesn't matter. Regardless of its historical accuracy, it holds a truth as all such stories do. At some point in the development of humankind we were innocent and full of love for ourselves, our fellow humans and our surroundings. We knew nothing of the hardships that life could hold. We knew nothing of the evil that humans are capable of and we were connected to all life and full of that life and full of love. And then we were tainted with selfish, ego-centric ideas and thoughts. We lost touch with the ultimate truth and reality of the human experience; that we are capable of unfathomable love that can cure all emotional hurts and all the ills of the reality of life we have created. It's not that we lost the ability to love completely or to create pure love and be connected to everyone and everything and live in peace and harmony. It's that we forgot it was possible and we created barriers for ourselves. We started telling ourselves we can't do it.

Some stories tell of the first murder. There is the story of Cain and Abel later, but some actually have that as the moment that humankind lost our connection to love and all life. It doesn't change the idea that at some point we stopped seeing ourselves as connected to everything and each other, and instead, became separate from everything and learned how to think in terms of mine and theirs. Before, there was us. Now there is you, me, them.

This affects all relationships. It is the ultimate reality of our lives. It's not that we don't want that love and that connection. Look at how much time is spent chasing it. But it is also true that we don't let ourselves give in to it and trust in it without reservation and without doubt. Without thinking about what will happen if we are betrayed or hurt. We always color it with the hurts and pains we have experienced or watched others in our life experience or what we have been told over and over from others.

Most of us are capable of feeling love for anyone at any time. We are capable of feeling amazing amounts of love and tenderness for someone we don't really know. I'm sure most of you have felt that sort of thing before. I'm not talking about someone that has done something for you or that you admire because of what they do. I'm talking about someone you know almost nothing about, but in that moment your heart is filled with love for them, because they are just there. They exist. And that is all. I certainly catch myself walking down the sidewalks of Portland, and, seeing someone walking toward me, I am filled with a sense of love for them for no good reason. In that moment, I just feel connected to them and want them to feel loved, and I try to radiate it toward them without words. I would like to stop them and tell them I love them right then, but I still suffer from those ingrained thoughts that they will think I'm crazy or a weirdo looking to do something to them. I may love them, but I don't want to risk an incident with the police for that love yet. Maybe I'll get more fearless with it in the future, but not right now.

Now, some people reading this will say, "Yeah, but it's easy to love someone you don't know in that moment. What about loving someone in a long-term relationship?"

There is another false belief that we have to get through. Loving someone in that moment can easily translate into a full long-term relationship. Why? Because loving someone in that moment is what we have to do in a long-term relationship. A long-term relationship is nothing more than a multitude of moments strung together with another person. The issue comes when we try to force the moments to last beyond their natural lifespan. We are so desperate to feel that love that we often mistake the love of a moment for something more. We have this mistaken belief that if we feel this way for someone in that moment then we have to hold onto it and make it last for the rest of our lives. And then we start to corrupt those perfect moments, because they were supposed to be temporary, and in our desperation for love and connection we have forced a perfect moment of love into a box with expectations that are unnatural to that love. We try to force it to be something that it isn't, because we are afraid to lose it.

Imagine this: if you walked around in a state of love for everyone and everything at all times and with no rules or expectations or restrictions. Wouldn't you be less likely to try to hold onto a moment of love out of fear that you would lose that love? If love was always with you, would you stick with a person that turned out to be the wrong person for you? Would you regret spending your time with that person? Would you think it was a waste of love if you had 2 weeks, or 2 months or 2 years with that person filled with love, but that you just didn't quite fit with for a longer period of time? What if that time you spent loving that person was necessary for you to move forward in life? What if you learned a lot about yourself and what you need later in life, and you had outgrown it? Imagine that you still loved that person and the time you spent with them, but it was just time to move on without them as your partner or only partner for that matter.

If you lived in this connected love, there would be no loss. It would just be change. It wouldn't be scary, because you wouldn't be losing anything. You would just be moving on. Many eastern philosophers would say that life isn't a destination but a journey. I would add this to that idea. Life isn't a destination, and it isn't a journey toward love, but a journey in love.

I'm not advocating for an alternative lifestyle, such as polyamory, though I certainly think it's a valid way of going through life. What I'm saying is that if you were able to truly be filled and surrounded by love in all its facets, settings and dimensions and weren't constantly trying to search for it and grab onto it, wouldn't you be more likely to find the person that you could truly love as a partner for the rest of your life, if that's what you're hoping to find?
 

The reason so many people get into bad relationships and end up with broken hearts, divorce proceedings and custody battles is that they think that they’re gonna miss out on love and end up alone. They are desperate! They need somebody, and they’re willing to grasp at the slightest hint of love from another person. Hopefully, they at least trade up from one relationship to the next, but it’s still a tough way to go. It causes a lot of pain and often influences their future relationships in a negative way more often than in a positive way.

Instead of doing this desperate hope from one bad relationship to the next, we should strive for connection to as many people as possible with love and respect. This doesn’t mean we just take whoever comes along and love them. It means we love as many people as possible in as many ways as are right for each relationship. Sometimes that just means a welling of pure love for a stranger. Sometimes it means the love and respect we have for friends and family members, people we accept warts and all, because our life is better with them in it.

The biggest benefit to this idea is that if you are filled with love and project that love you can be more secure in who you are. You don’t need to put on different masks for different people. You won’t feel the need to be someone you’re not when you are meeting a potential love interest for the first time. And this is something almost all of us do. We try to make ourselves look more appealing by hiding our flaws or accentuating the things we think they want. It’s a recipe for disaster.

At some point, the truth comes out, and our partners are confronted with the less than perfect you. They get hit with the reality of who you are with all your quirks and flaws. That’s when the problems begin. That’s when our nerves get frayed and our tempers start to flair. At first, we try to just deal with it, but eventually, the issues build up until the things that used to be “cute” to our partner start to annoy them and frustrate them.

The benefit of loving in the manner I describe would mean more confidence for yourself and no need to put on this “mask” to try to win love. It wouldn’t be necessary. You could be yourself and wait to find someone that truly matches your energy, your desires, your personality, etc… You could be the real you and find someone that loves the real you.

Of course, some people will read this, if anyone reads this, and think that this sounds like a very chaste and boring life. Far from it! This manner of living and loving opens the door to a much more fulfilling life and doesn’t mean you can’t just live it up and have plenty of sexual relationships. It just means you won’t have to mistake those relationships for long term loving relationships. It frees you to enjoy yourself without feeling like you should tie yourself to someone that is less than perfect for you. You can be as sexual as you feel comfortable with inside your beliefs. It doesn’t promote or deter sexuality. It just takes away the pressure to make something more of that relationship than you should.

I would also like to stress that the kind of full love that I’m advocating is about all aspects of your life. It is all-inclusive. It doesn’t put boundaries or restrictions on itself or your life. It allows you to be true to who you are and live within your own values with confidence and without shame.

I think it’s important to discuss the tough part of this way of living in love. More than likely, the world isn’t going to read my words or anyone else’s words that advocate this philosophy of love. It’s unfortunate. However, if we can really start living this philosophy eventually there will be more and more of us. Who wouldn’t want to feel more love everyday? But it would still take years upon years to change millennia of mistrust and separateness. This means that you are going to have to deal with some people who still play by the old rules. The good part of this is they will immediately be recognizable, and you can just expect that you will send love their way, but it won’t be returned in the same way, and you won’t be likely to “fall” for them and have a bad relationship blow up on you later.

It also means that you will occasionally be called a weirdo or looked at strangely by people that don’t know your new way of living. Those people will fall into two primary groups. The first group will eventually see how your life works and will want to emulate it. The second group will not understand and won’t be able to understand, because they have such a distrust of people offering something of themselves without expecting anything in return. This second group will have varying degrees of distrust with some of them actually capable of some pretty extreme reactions, but it’s not necessary to engage these people. Just love them and walk on. Give them a taste enough times, and maybe they’ll come around or at least question their way of life just a little.

What I’m offering as an alternative to the current “love is complicated” philosophy, is a chance to create more love, receive more love and find the right people to populate your life with, so you can have the most fulfilling life possible with the least drama, damage and pain. And it really doesn’t require a lot of work. It just takes a little courage at first to try something new.

I really want to have some comments about this. I’d love to get questions and objections to specific ideas, so I can really look at everything that this encompasses and any issues people might see. I can’t think of everything in a first go at something. So… shoot at it and let’s see if there are holes that need to be mended or if I can really create a bulletproof argument for my philosophy.

Oh… and I love you all! Even those that want to shoot holes in my philosophy. ;-)
 



TO BE REVISITED... 

Feb. 14th, 2011

 I fervently believe that Valentine's Day is such a bogus "holiday."  It is a way that most people treat as a day to show extra love to their significant other, spouse, boyfriend, girlfriend or whatever they call each other.  What could be bogus about that right?  Well, why are they only showing extra love once or maybe two or three times a year?  Why are you holding any of your love from your loved one ever?  

So, for those that really celebrate it as something different from their everyday volume of love for someone, it could be called, "Excuse me for being a complete ignorant ass for 364 days of the year!" Day! 

If you love someone you should give them all the love you have everyday. That doesn't mean you need to buy chocolate everyday or bring flowers home everyday.  But you should never let a day go by without letting them feel every drop of the love that you feel for them.  

We all have bad days or days where we aren't feeling as connected due to the stress of life and the issues of daily living, but that doesn't mean that you can't still let your loved one feel the love you have for them.  If you truly love someone you should always be able to connect to some part of that and communicate it to your loved one.  

It could be a word, a touch, a song, a moment of staring into their eyes, pulling them up to dance without music.  Anything.  There is always a way to communicate your love for someone. 

My true point is not that the idea of Valentine's Day is a bad one.  It isn't.  The better idea is to take Valentine's Day and make it everyday in your life.  Then, you can make Valentine's Day about expressing that love to the world.  
 I live in Oregon.  Portland, Oregon to be exact.  I really do love living here, but this being such a liberal bastion, I am frequently required to keep my mouth shut or risk a political debate that rarely ends well.  This is because the majority of liberals I have found up here are so tied to their belief that they alone are right and know how things should be that they can get very angry if you point out that they might not be the only people with valid ideas of how things should be. I don't mean "right" ideas but valid ideas. There is a difference.

A brief digression- I'm not going to go into the multitude of beliefs I have on various subjects in this post.  Trust me when I tell you that I hold some views that are likely more liberal than yours and I probably have some beliefs that are more conservative than yours, since I'm pretty sure the true dyed in the wool neo-cons and liberals at the farthest spectrums won't quite make it to my blog. I have come to my beliefs through my own thoughts and my observations of how the world works and how it should work.  So before you get your hackles raised and get ready to blast me for something you are assuming, take a minute, breathe, and then, ask me questions.  I won't duck any legitimate question you might ask of me.

Now, for the record, I used to be a not-very-conservative Republican when I was younger.  Truthfully, there isn't a political party out there that really represents my beliefs.  I believe that both major political parties in this country have been corrupted and driven to the radical wings of their constituents, because those are the only people that speak up and drive the party with their money and support.  The rest of us are more involved in living our lives and just want government to stay out of our lives as much as possible.  Let us live our lives and just make sure we're not victimized by corporations or hurt by foreign powers or terrorists.  Protect the little guy from being bullied.  That's it.  But Liberals and Conservatives alike have decided that it is their job to do much more than that.  

The truth is that neither party cares about the true good of the people of this country.  They care about their piece of the pie.  The power. The control.  The perks of the job.  No.  We the people have given them the go ahead to do what they do.  

This country will continue on with business as usual in politics until enough moderates/people in the middle/eclectically thoughtful people get sick and tired of trying to pick the lesser of two evils and put a real third party into power.  Or even better, put a multitude of parties into power that don't represent extreme ideas or politics as usual.  When we finally boot a majority of the status quo politicians out on their butts, they'll actually start listening to us and bring back some sanity to governing this country.  

So it is up to us as the voters of this country, and yes I'm a voter, even though I have chosen NOT to vote more often than I have voted in recent years.  I refuse to vote for people I don't believe can, will, or want to really do the job with my best interests in mind. It is up to us to get angry enough to tell the Democrats and the Republicans where they can stick their phony bi-partisan speeches, and their polarizing politics.  
Until then it's just gonna be business as usual with the political landscape becoming more and more polar and less and less about the majority of the American people.

Feb. 11th, 2011

 It's later on a Thursday night.  I've been sick for about 24 hours or so, but it's nothing another day of rest won't take care of.  I found myself mulling over a wide range of ideas and topics without any real reason other than I had nothing better to do.  There are so many thoughts in my head when I let them come out to play, that I often occupy my time by listening to podcast novels on my zuneHD.  I don't know what I would do without that lovely piece of technology.  

I'm gonna get off my intended topic here for a moment to discuss my love for the zune device.  

There are those that say, "I'm a nonconformist!" quite proudly, and then they proceed to look, act, talk and think like everyone else that calls themselves a nonconformist.  Then there are those that truly are.  I may be wrong about tons of things, but I think for myself, and I don't know anyone who really thinks like me or is like me.  It's not that I have tried to be this way.  Quite frankly, I never really thought about it.  I do know that I have always shied away from the things that my peer group all unabashedly went gaga over.  First case in point... 

U2   Back in the late 80's all the kids in my high school class were all about U2.  It's not that I thought I had better taste in music.  I had different taste in music, but I generally liked most music just as I do now.  My issue was that EVERYONE else liked U2.  I still am not a huge fan of them. They have made some good tunes, but I don't think there is anything extraordinary about them as a musical group.  I think they get way too much credit for their music.  I do think that Bono is a genuine individual and has done some good with his fame, and doesn't go parading his accomplishments around or tooting his own horn like a certain self-aggrandizing, full of shite Hollywood actor whose name I won't mention, because he already gets enough attention to be going on about.  I certainly don't want to risk giving him any further attention good or bad.  Though his last name rhymes with ten. So, all my peers were ga-ga for U2, and I avoided them like the plague.

Next example-

Harry Potter  So many people were completely into this amazing series of books.  I had at least one former professor that was reading them as though they were words of gold.  They were so popular!  In this case, I was so very wrong!  I came very late to the Harry Potter party, and I'm a little upset by that.  I absolutely love those books.  I've listened to the Audiobook versions by Jim Dale so many times that I know the character he's portraying just by the sound of his voice!  Well, that might be a little exaggeration but not by much.  I just didn't want to latch onto something that everyone else was so enamored with.  

I always want to find my own way to something.  Sometimes, it means I miss out on something, or I get to it much later than anyone else, but it has definitely helped me find some things that nobody else I know has found such as the Portuguese author(now deceased) Jose Saramago.  Amazing author.  If you haven't discovered his books get to it! It takes some getting used to only because of his use of punctuation, or lack thereof, in dialog, but once you get used to it, you will love his storytelling.  And... the Zune by that devil on earth, Microsoft.

I understand why people feel this animosity toward Microsoft.  I do. I get it.  But I just have no use for the holier than thou Mac-user... And there are some things that Apple does very well and make so much sense, but I am a huge fan of the Zune.  I kind of came to the Zune just by economics.  I was looking for a media player to purchase on craigslist, and I discovered I could get more with this Zune I was looking at than I could afford for any of the Ipods that were being offered.  

My first Zune was a blocky 30G model that now belongs to my ex-girlfriend after I thought it had been stolen when, in reality, it had been eaten by my recliner at home, and it was a couple weeks before I happened to get it to fall out from it's hiding place.  That was when I bought my 16G Zune HD... and holy cow! I was in love with the blocky version, because it did everything I thought I needed it to do most of the time.  Played music, played videos, held pictures, played podcasts(which I had come to absolutely LOVE) and it didn't have the annoying Ipod controls that just annoy the crap out of me.  Then I got the ZuneHD and I can't imagine using any other device!  The video is so clear and amazing, the touch screen is fun and easy. the internet feature works really well, and I can buy music straight from the device if I want to.

The downside?  Ok... the Microsoft "points" way of purchasing things sucks ass... quit it... just let me have my money and show me what it actually costs in dollars and cents.  Nobody is making a ton of apps for the zune like they do for all the "I" products from Apple... but there are only a few apps I don't have that I might actually want.  I do like the Zune program better than the Itunes program.  It's a little more artistic, which is strange to say about a Microsoft program compared to an Apple program.  There are some other aspects that I don't like about using the Zune system, but NONE of them have to do with the media-player itself.


Overall, I just want people to know that if you want a first-rate media player, and you don't mind being a little different, you should look at the Zune.  I can't imagine living without mine.

Some truths and viewpoints as I see them.

This is strictly MY point of view.  It is stream of consciousness, so there is no real order to things.  I could probably have made some paragraphs, but I didn't want to.  I like it better this way.  Some of what I have to say may piss you off.  I don't care.  This is the way I see things, and I won't apologize.  This isn't just mindless blather.  I've thought this out and observed these things this way for a while now.  Tell me what you think.  Yell at me.  Call me an asshole.  That's your right.  It won't change what I think, but then we can discuss it.  Of course, I only expect to get maybe one or two comments, but the offer is on the table.  Enjoy.


Love.  Laugh.  Cry. Scream every now and then.  Enjoy life.  Be true to those who matter.  No one matters truly but you and those you love.  Sex is a good thing!  Sex isn’t love.  Looks are over-rated.  Ideas are not.  Presidents are neither harbingers of the apocalypse nor the second-coming.  We need to stop caring what Hollywood, the media, the church  or the rest of the world thinks about us, and do things because we know they are right, they make us happy, they make someone else happy or they help make the world a little better than it was.  Hollywood is full of idiots who think they are smarter than they really are.  Just because someone has been on T.V. or in movies, makes music or just looks a certain way, doesn’t mean they have the slightest f’ing clue what they are talking about.  People who murder innocent people should die.  Rapists should be subjected to a similar punishment.  They have violated another, so let them be violated.  I’m for cruel and unusual punishment for heinous crimes against individuals.  Screw that S.O.B or D.O.B. if they felt their needs and desires were more important than another’s to the point that they committed such horrifying acts upon them.  Quit trying to live beyond the ability of the earth to support us.  Living organically doesn’t mean you’re going to live longer… or even better.  It does mean you do less harm than others and aren‘t likely to be causing a problem ecologically.  Be nice to each other… except when someone loses their “nice privilege,” because they’re assholes.  Flaws are what really make us beautiful.  Perfection is a lie and an abomination.  It is better that a person is happy, than a social morality is upheld so long as no second party is truly hurt.  The more happiness there is in the world the less pain and suffering there can be.  We should take responsibility for and be willing to stand up for our ideas and our beliefs or we should be ready to watch them disappear or be taken away.   We should tolerate and be willing to listen to ideas and words that we don’t like.  True freedom comes from our ability to listen to everyone.  Listen and learn.  We don’t have to agree.  We can even argue.  It can even make us angry.  It is true tolerance and intellectual freedom to accept someone’s freedom of speech when it is completely against our beliefs, makes us angry or makes us sad.  Ideas only hurt us when we let them.  There is deep truth in that silly children’s rhyme, “Stick and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”  It isn’t comfortable or easy, but words are not the same as bullets, bombs and spilt blood.  It is the beauty of our country.  We can have opposing ideas.  We can not agree with one another, and still manage to live with each other.  Just because you don’t agree with someone doesn’t mean they’re an idiot.  They may, in fact, be idiots.  They don’t have to agree with your way of living.  They just can’t keep you from living or intimidate you.  If you can’t accept another’s right to live their life as they like so long as they aren’t affecting your ability to live life the way you choose, you should live in another country.  It is NOT your place to play God in someone else’s life.  Being offended is a growing epidemic.  People need to grow up and stop whining.  There are winners and losers.  Just because you aren’t good at something doesn’t mean the test is skewed or that the rules need to be changed to be more inclusive.  Maybe you just need to learn how to play the game or take the test to your strengths.  Either way, the test is a test, and you either pass or you fail.  2+2 can ONLY be 4.  Excellence is a good thing.  We should strive for it instead of wondering how to make everyone more equal.  Nature could give a rat’s ass about equality.  You can strive for equal opportunity, but you still won’t get equal outcome.  Equality really is an illusion.  It doesn’t exist.  There is ALWAYS a top dog and a “low man on the totem pole.”  It’s not the top dog’s fault that you’re the low man.  Find something you can do well and latch onto it.  Just because someone is rich doesn’t mean they have cheated someone or that it’s their fault that someone else is poor.  We should be willing to help the poor find their path to success, but that doesn’t mean they’re going to travel it and become a success.  It’s not the rich who keep the poor where they are.  It’s the poor who keep the poor where they are.  Plenty of people who once were poor have become successful and lived the American dream.  One has to be stubborn, and full of dreams to make something of yourself.  And just having money doesn’t mean you’re a success.  There are poorer people that are more successful in some ways than some rich people.  Pretending that you can stop your child from doing something by only teaching them it’s bad to do it is asinine.  Give them all the information:  the good, the bad and the ugly.  Tell them and show them the consequences.   Let them know the good and the amazing as well. When you hide the truth, even part of the truth, they will know and they will decide to do it anyway, and when they do it will be an even bigger fiasco more often than not.  At least if they know everything, they can make truly informed decisions and can’t pretend they didn‘t know what they were getting into.  Then you can tell them how stupid they are as you pick them up and dust them off.  Acting like an angry asshole never helps a situation.  Showing your disappointment and still being compassionate is always a bigger sword that cuts to the heart.  If it doesn’t your child is a sociopath and there is nothing you can do about it short of drugs and years of intense therapy.  Never settle for someone just because you‘re afraid to be alone.  Never give up what you need and desire for safety or convenience.  Before you can truly love someone unconditionally, you have to love yourself unconditionally.  If you can’t talk about everything with someone, you really can’t talk about anything.   No, honesty is not always the best policy, but a lie is rarely better.  This is true, because not everyone is capable of handling honesty, and everyone hates it when they discover they‘ve been lied to.  Sometimes the truth is cruel and selfish and does nothing but harm.  If you are one of the majority of people that really can’t handle truth don’t ask for it.  If you ask for it, don’t get angry when you don’t like what you hear.  Remember, you asked for it.  If you can handle the truth in any circumstance you can handle anything.  The biggest wounds come from the lie we discover and the betrayal we unearth.  The strongest relationship is one with nothing but honesty.  Honesty is a two way street.  One must give, and another must receive.  The earth is round, water is wet, and the sky is sometimes blue if we’re lucky.

Writer's Block: Hope

Hope is definitely hard for people, in general, to maintain.  Hope isn't easy.  It doesn't just come to you.  You have to actively seek hope.  It requires battling all the bad news, hard knocks, catastrophes and pessimists on a daily basis.  There are some, I'm sure, who have an easier time than others and still others who walk through life so oblivious to the trials that life throws at us that hope is this continuous safety zone that surrounds them like a bubble, but for most of the people in the world hope requires looking for that glimmer of hope in the midst of all the turmoil and realizing that, as long as that tiny glimmer is still there, there is still hope that everything will work out to some degree or another.

Hope also requires us to believe in other people.  It requires that we trust strangers to do what is decent and right and not just look out for themselves.  This is a very big hurdle to jump, since, according to the news, the world is filled with crooks, thieves, sexual offenders, racists, murderers and multinational corporations looking to crush us and enslave us.  At the very least we have to admit that most us are just apathetic and self-centered and only want to get what we can for as little work or money as possible and live our lives in peace.  Screw everyone else. 

However, there is still that glimmer of hope.  I choose to believe.  The alternative is a defeated position to stand in.  I don't have blinders on.  Definitely not.  But I believe that when it comes down to it we can make a difference in our lives and in others' lives.  I will continue to smile, laugh, and hope.

Jul. 6th, 2008

 

The Forest Doesn’t Move

 

The forest doesn't move

It breathes

Stationary but teeming with raw life

 

Unforgiving and beautiful

Wondrous and mysterious

Full of life: toil and struggle

 

No care for wealth or prestige

Just life and death

The ultimate prize tournament

 

Live or die

The forest doesn't care

It exists and that is all

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Jul. 6th, 2008

 

This is sort of the beginning of some writing that I'm doing right now. This is not a finished piece, but it is not unfinished either.  This could stand as just what it is, or it could become something much larger.  Only time will tell.

 

The Boy episode 1

 

The Boy sat in the backyard sobbing uncontrollably; a blazing tear trail etched on the skin.  Shaken to the core by the monster that burst from the dark of his soul.  Anger hot and furious foamed from the emotional cauldron locked deep inside beyond the prying eyes and manipulations of parents, peers and counselors.  It was supposed to be safe there in its perfect hiding place; safe, untouchable and unknowable.  But in an explosive moment the darkness opened up, and the Anger roared forth;  a rogue wave form nowhere that reached out and grabbed him just as surely as he grabbed the psycho that was pulling back his fist aimed at the Boy's sister.  He was sure that he had been about to kill that mother-fucker.

 

 

 

How dare that piece of shit disturb the carefully managed emotional pool that the Boy had kept under strict control for so long?  How dare anyone bring him to the edge of the cliff that was emotion.  What had happened to the wall he had so carefully constructed to keep everyone out?  To keep them safe.  Where had his defenses disappeared to in that cold shadowy instant when the dragon had awoken and spread its black leathery wings?

Old Poems

These are at least 15 years old, but I thought it was a good place to begin my livejournal posts.

I'm proud of them, especially "The Poet Sings," but I'm sort of removed from them too.  Comment on them.  Let me know what you like and dislike.  What works for you and what doesn't?



The Poet Sings

            (Inspired by Lola Haskins)


 

The poet sits on her stool still like a

            Queen

With the majesty due to her position

            and her genius.

Softly, gently her voice fills

            The air with a sweet fragrance,

And my ears magnify the luster

            Of her silky smooth syllables.

Her song is raised as the words

            Intensify

And my breast begins to heave with

            An uncontrollable urge to sway,

            Back

And

            Forth,

The song of the poet induces the

            Audience to dance.



          
  When


When they told me she had died,
My heart sank.
She was my connection to myself.
I had leaned on her for support
       so many times,
And she had always been there.
She had always been there.
She had always eased my fears
And occasionally kept me alive,
But then she lost her hope,
Drowing in tears until she gave up.
Now she’ll never smile at me again.
She’ll never wink with those
       beautiful eyes,
Or swing her soft hair out of the way.



Where was I when she needed me?
What had come between me and her
To take my power to help her away?



I’ll never know what could have been,
Since she left me before I could
       be with her
When we were too young to know
How much we meant to each other
      or the world.
She left me to end the pain, but
She didn’t know the pain she would
      cause,
Or how real her power over me was.




Thank  You (The Silver Lining)


Thank you, Marcie, for giving me my tears
For opening the flood gates that
     had been shut for so long
With the pain your death, so young,
    brought.

You, in your tragdy, gave back
What had been taken from me
With an emotional outburst so
    torrential
There was white-water raging
    down my face.

Thank you, Marcie, for giving me
    my tears,
Taken from me but now returned by
    your death.
As you returned my tears to me,
I hope someone has returned your
    peace to you.



 Joy Will Come Again


Joy will come again when its time
    arrives
To fill our lives once again and
    push out the pain
With the power of laughter, given
    by children.


Andthough the tears flow like
    blood in the river,
I will wait out this moment to
    find my time,
And joy will come again, to
    filter my soul
And wash away the guilt and
    anger
For a soul so young,
It barely knew it was alive.

                   For Marcie, those who loved her and the
                         many who know what she was feeling.
                         Daniel McLaughlin
                         July 18, 1993

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